Did I mention that besides the Artist and the Writer, Ralph and I share our space with Kat the cat? I've never seen the point in cats, unless its for chasing, and this one is no exception! Of course we get told off for chasing him, so we have to do it when no-one is around, like late at night. He's quick though and knows how to make a fast getaway onto the cupboards and table tops, but its fun none the less.
Probably the most annoying thing about Kat is that he gets fed a lot more often than we do, like every morning and evening. We only get fed once, in the evening. Also, if Kat wants something he just has to miaow really loudly and they come running......be it that he is stuck on the roof and wants to come in, or just can't be bothered to use the cat flap (which I could get through myself pre-puppybirth). Speaking of catflaps, Ralph usually takes one off its hinges every year, he can't understand that if his nose can fit through, why the rest of him can't , I've tried explaining it to him.....
Most of our day is spent guarding what is ours. So we have to keep a sharp sniff out for dogs passing by in the street and bark loudly to let them know that they are passing our territory. Similarly when we pass a house with a dog in it, we have to let them know we're passing. Some dogs we don't mind, some we really hate. We especially hate enemy number 1 who lives down the road. He's a yappy little thing and we both take great pleasure in attacking the door he lives behind every time we pass by. Ralph further lets the dog world know where we've been by peeing on every stonewall and tree trunk that we pass, it can make a walk very slow going and the writer often says in desperation
we're on a walk not a stand
We also have to guard against humans who come to the door, unless they're a friend and we know their smell, we will do our best to see them off. People we especially dislike are those that go by pushing a metal cart full of junk, some of which they push through our post box. Not much better is the postman; Ralph especially likes to show his displeasure towards him by catching and biting the mail as it flies through the air. As a rule of thumb, we hate anything on wheels, no matter what they are, top of my list are cyclists! I always wait until they've passed by and then I pounce and run after them. We also feel the same way about people running as we do about cyclists. There is many a jogger who has been stopped in his tracks jogging on the spot trying to avoid Ralph's snapping, barking jaws.....
Its not just whats outside the house that we have to guard, we also have to keep a sharp look out for what is ours inside the house. We once had a sofa in the front room. Every morning when we got up from our beds in the kitchen, we would hop onto the sofa and stay there for most of the day. It gave us a good vantage point for the front door and was above any draughts. It was very comfortable and had a strong odour that let everyone know that it belonged to us. People could smell it as soon as they came through the door and it stopped them from sitting on it (along with the muddy footprints and the hairs). So you can Imagine our dismay, when it was exactly that smell that we so cherished that caused the Artist and the Writer to put the sofa out into the courtyard. I mean what use is it to anyone out there? Now all we have is a bed each in the kitchen; whenever they are moved, due to floor washing or some unnecessary action like that (well Ralph regularly cleans the floor with his tongue) I make sure I lie down in them, so they can't be taken away. Call me a dog in the manger......but you have to stick up for what is yours...... I've just thought about another thing that really annoys me about Kat, he has the run of the house and is allowed to sleep wherever he wants.
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